Family Night

Thursday May 31, 2018 time: 2018

I took Sydney to the Family Night Out that was hosted by Mid-South Mental Health. Kids and all their mothers showed up for games like pool, Bingo, and basketball. Hotdog dinner with chips, a Little Debbie's snack item and soda's rounded out a light meal for Sydney. Everyone got a ticket and door prizes were awarded to each if not all people there. I found it very sad that not one father showed up to the after 5pm festivities. Sydney got over stimulated with all the noise and commotion and went over to his therapist (who was being a face painter) and had to vent his over the top anxiety that was making him just as loud as the 3 year old's that were crying and their mothers that were screaming at them. 

I had signed both Sydney and I up for some conferences and training next month. It sounded like something that would be beneficial for at least me anyway. https://youthmovear.org/index.php

The event (state) is paying for one night hotel stay and giving gas cards out to help pay for gas for those who drive further out. After reading on the site I am looking forward to the events and training available.

I have pulled another 24 hour plus of being up. I have laid on the bed, moved to be propped upright on the couch, then back to the bed again. I can't seem to get comfortable with the pain and it leaves me to finally getting some sleep only when I'm outright exhausted. *YAWWWWWN*

Happy Birthday to my Ylanda who would have been 29 and holding (37). It was obvious that when Grandma Helen had this put in her local paper that she didn't know my last name was Hudson at the time and used Curry, gotta love old folks.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/181953405?memorialUpdated=true

Latex Motivational Make-over

Thursday May 31, 2018 time: 0236

I had told Sydney I would not buy him anymore latex or clay to make his molds unless he had cleaned his room. I had reached my momma's gonna blow mode after I saw several socks laying on his floor and the hamper is exactly 12 inches away from his bedroom door. Incentive, always an incentive. I will have to lock up the stuff and make it only accessible if his room is clean. I don't like to make stipulations on things that are given, but his hoarding is going to have to come to an end, Asperger's or no Asperger's. His case worker called today at 1930, late, but I was laying down and didn't get up to answer the phone. Maybe his med refill scripts are in and she is letting me know? We'll see later today.    

His room looks and smells so much better. 5 bags of garbage  came from his room in the last days. I wonder if other parents go through this and their Autistic kids?  I sat with him and let him watch #FaceOff ,Now  he wants a vacutainer machine. Is there a place where gifted/handicapped kids can go? I wonder if Glen Hetrick, or Ve Neil's rooms look like this? Not Nevil Page; too proper with his 50 cent words.                                        

                                                                               

Dog Farts=Pain

Tuesday May 29, 2018 time 1008
It was Sydney's regular 3 month blood draw to check his lipid profile on his medications. I took him in to the local clinic in hopes that he could get in. When the receptionist said that lab doesn't arrive till later I said we will come back later: the last time they said they could get him in we waited 3 hours just for blood work. I don't have patients for that kind of nonsense and if the clinic opens up at 8am that means everyone should have their crap ready to go and start accepting patients then. Instead I was watching a girl look at her phone, put lipstick on, put her purse away, stand up, and pretend to do something when all she did was walk to the counter, turn around and walked back to her chair and sit down again. This is the same clinic who I originally went to to have my numbness in my arms checked out. Doc sent me to the hospital a week later to get an xray, another 2 weeks later I went in after I called to make another appointment; she said I had arthritis and to live with it as long as I could before coming back again.  That is when I sought a second opinion, we have to be advocates for our own care and that is a patient right and responsibility. Next time I will take Sydney to Forrest City to the hospital lab.
Tomorrow I start physical therapy. I sure hope that they can help this catch. I got up again after laying down for only an hour. The sharp neck stabbing pain is just awful and I want to lay there and cry myself asleep again like before. I was looking up videos and found one of this guy, he said he had to lift his head off the pillow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Oh thank you Jesus, you know I needed to see that someone else had to do the same thing as me I even posted about that a few posts ago. See what he says at the 2 minute mark----this is sooooo me.(May 19th post)

Harley my 15 year old Border Collie was laying here next to me and let me tell you, this dog can fart! Long high pitched sounds like someone is pulling on the ends of a balloon. I had to turn my head and got punished with shooting pain. What is it about her that when she farts she gets up and moves? It's like the owl and the Tootsy Pop commercial........."We may never know".

The Mower is Tired

Sunday My 27, 2018 time 1313
Sydney was up at 6am wanting to mow the yard. I let him start at 7:30 in the heavy dew laden grass. I had him take off the bag and add the side discharge chute. Less than half way through the front

yard he came inside declaring he was taking a break, I told him to go get it done and then the new mower I bought last year wouldn't start back up. The carburetor needs adjusting and I'll just have to read the directions or DIY YouTube it. He came in and took a shower and fell asleep on the couch.
I was laying in bed a good hour after being awake since sometime yesterday. I had done my usual laundry of linen off the bed as well as two more loads from the week, did dishes, and made some ice tea pitchers up for the day Clean sheet and I can't sleep. Thinking or more or less hoping this catch in my neck will go away and the curved neck pillow doc wants me to go get, the attic fan is steadily humming because it's hot outside, oh it's going to be so hot (96 degrees) later in the week, and Jim can't come over to do his laundry unless he works for it. So I'm making this list of complaints in my head and now I'm up, exhausted but awake. I would like a bowl of ice cream right about now but I bought some Oikos Triple Zero in orange cream and will satisfy my urge after I finish my bowl of oatmeal and raisins that I made an hour ago and still nibbling on.
The goose egg in my neck is still about 2-3 inches wide and 1 inch tall and the steri strips are down to 3  covering my well camouflaged scalpel line in the neck crease, underneath my jaw line is numb and that's either from the jaw lift to tilt the head back or nerves that had been cut during surgery, either way it just feels weird.

Assessments and Updates

Friday May 26, 2018 time: 0025
Sydney had an appointment today at his therapist, a third party comes in and assesses him from a questionnaire they verbally ask him, the responses are then recorded to the computer. It determines whether he is in need of therapy or other services that the state can provide him. As we sat inside the thunder started rolling in and was a storm by the time we left the building. Sydney had gone next door for a short visit from a young granddaughter who had returned from Colorado for a visit, then he went to a friends down the road till 1730, came in and proclaimed he was hungry and attacked the homemade chili in the pressure cooker. He saved me a ladle full. At his appointment with Dr Baltz earlier this week he weighed in at 177#!!

This is a good video after a few minutes they start doing close-up work. this is only one level and the video is compressed to 20 minutes. Doc said it took him an hour and a half, my surgery was 3 1/2 hours.


Sydney came in and said my hump on my neck is getting smaller. Today I attacked popcorn with vigor, love my popcorn and a few days ago I thought I would never be able to eat it again. But swallowing liquids with several gulps in a row is still difficult. I asked him if he knew what the surgery was that I had done, he said no, so I found this one. Grant it that it is only one disc vs my two, but he got the idea. At the end he said it doesn't hurt, @%&($! LIES ALL LIES!!!! PEOPLE, IT HURTS!!

It's day 10 post-op and I have been weening myself off the hard collar to the soft collar as instructed and use the hard collar only when pain is bad, or as I like to say, "tired of holding my head up". I did get a call from physical therapy and start the pain brigaid on Wednesday of next week. Those guys are great and I doubt I will ever be in traction again. But it felt so good. The goal was to build neck muscles up to support my noggin and using the spinal protocol to protect and not further injure it. As this continues to heal the more I feel that "CATCH" on my left side and PRAY PRAY PRAY it goes away because it does hurt.
Now maybe my other Dr Lee will remove that growth on my jaw line. I'm just being anal about it because it might as well be on the tip of my nose or on my cleavage; all eyes go directly to it..

Journals and Stimulators

Thursday May 24, 2018 time: late or early, whatever way you look at it
At noon Sydney's case worker came by and met with him for about an hour. She didn't bring her phone in and she must have gotten the message that I was not happy with her staying on her phone. He is to work on cleaning his room and again, it was suggested that he keep a journal of some kind to help him remember things and to reflect upon as he gets older. We discussed how lessons are learned not just by school but by also making mistakes, aka: school of hard knocks. Hopefully the pop-up thunder showers will calm down long enough for Sydney to mow the yard. Too much work for summer, I know.
I laid down for a nap after his case worker left and slept 7 hours!!! I know my body is healing but geeeeez Louise. And no medication was involved. So I got up and washed dishes in the sink from the ham and beans I had made and was on warm in the pressure cooker, Sydney likes them and uses several bowls with several trips. Swept the floors, and did some entries on FaG and Arkansasgraves.org.. My swelling is starting to recede on the front of my neck and swallowing is becoming somewhat easier, but I still have to take my calcium citrate in half- horse pills. Just because swelling is down doesn't mean that the pain has gone away. I feel a "catch" in my left side like before but am hoping once again that when the swelling goes down some more that it will diminish. I know that doc said there is only a 60% chance of full recovery and my bones are bad enough to lower that rate. I had gotten a call from an expected traveling nurse who goes to patients and gives them bone growth stimulator machines https://www.spineuniverse.com/resource-center/bone-growth-stimulation/patient-guide-bone-growth-stimulationonce their insurance approves of the device. I had never heard of such a thing and from the looks of them it reminds me of my tenz machine. She said she should hear back from BC/BS by Monday, I was to wear it for 4 hours a day, and it was mine to keep. Whatever, ok. I'm about sure I may need for future use (C4). I haven't heard back today from Physical Therapy and there were no messages showing that I slept through a call either. I have a feeling next week will be busy for me.

Running For the Finish Line

Tuesday May 22, 2018 time:0247
Sydney has been going hot and heavy with instructors on live video conferences trying to get the last of his school work done before the summer break. Last day is 5/24/ @ 11pm. With about 10 assignments behind he is trying. I spoke with the counselors and they (the school) may be hiring someone to help Sydney and others like him. They also want to retest him at the beginning of the year to determine exactly where he is in his education. He was and is struggling with his math book that is at a 5th grade and is what spurred that on, that and English. I'm am thrilled that the system is once again working to help him out, I'm happy with the results for my persistence in trying to get him a better education AND have support.
I had a 6 day post-op check up today, doc has ordered physical therapy 3 x's a week for the next 60 days (my next appointment at 6 weeks). Her goal is to strengthen my muscles  to help support and deter the inevitable fusion of C4.  I was given a prescription for Forteo  https://www.hopkinsarthritis.org/patient-corner/drug-information/teriparatide-forteo/  but a prior authorization from BC/BS is needed first. I told doc only thing bothering me was muscles in shoulders making a V into and between my shoulder blades, the baseball that is stuck in my throat still, and a nasty bruise that's tender from a first try miss on the IV. I am off my Percocet and can't get my calcium citrate pills down without choking to the point of not breathing. Oh my, I hacked one up earlier because it wouldn't get pass the baseball. *sigh* Doc said it was soft tissue swelling and might be awhile before it goes down. I have been eating soft foods still and about choked to death on a chocolate animal cookie/cracker. Needless to say my hands have been ready to accept many different foods that wont go down and have to be hacked up like a cat with a fur ball problem. It's about 3" across and starts on top of my esophagus and goes to the right. Looks like Goiter!

 
Jim was present and I offered to drop him off at home first, but he said no. I was hoping I could just leave him at his place. He sat here at the house for the last six days and didn't offer to help me do anything. He just sat on the couch watched t.v., looked at his girly porn sights on his phone, and slept. I cooked, cleaned, did dishes, laundry, floors, etc....But he took my car to his house a few days to "check" on his place. He just wanted to get away to go smoke, he checked his mail and got the state taxes in and asked me to sign it over so he could go pay his water bill. WHAT??? Didn't offer me a penny and it's still about Jim, nothing changes. An hour away drive is still too close.

Saturday May 19, 2018 time: 2320
Sydney tried his best to mow the yard but when he ran over some small sticks hidden in the grass he jumped and let go of the handle thus cutting the motor off. It scared him. I brought out a cold glass of tea and watched him off the porch in my jammies. He has been hugging on me and I think that him seeing me in a collar of shame and bandage worries him somewhat. There is empathy at times, other times he doesn't have a clue.

Day 4 after surgery and my neck still looks as though I have a baseball in my throat. It also still feels like it when I swallow. I have been eating mostly soft foods like oatmeal and jello.When I wake up from sleep is when I primarily feel the severe pain in my neck, shoulder, and back muscles. I have stopped the Percocet today and have done the Cyclobenzaprine  (muscle relaxer) and Tylenol and found it works well in combination. Being a stomach sleeper has me compromising to the left side and often waking on my back. What I have notice and recalled when Dr Li said that my neck muscles have atrophied away and I find that I cannot lift my head from my pillow. I have to take my hands and physically lift my head to the direction it needs to go, sad story but true. All the more reason to go to the bathroom before going to bed, cause momma ain't goin' nowhere fast!

Post-op Neck Surgery

Thursday May 17, 2018 time: 2309
Sydney went outside today for the first time in a few days. He must have felt like a caged animal and finally showed up at 7pm. I told him to take a shower so that I can get a load of colored clothes done. He called me back into the hallway and said look at this. He had me feel a lump in his breast and then he gently squeezed it and a clear liquid just oozed out. I told him that Dr Baltz said that was a side effect of the medication and was nothing to worry about. He told me he didn't remember talking to his doc about it, but his memory is short lived. He said it was embarrassing and I said since he doesn't go shirtless he had nothing to worry about. He does not wear shorts because he has hairy legs and is very self-conscience about his body, his mind has yet to grow up to match his body and it might never.For the most part Sydney and Jim are trying not to fight with each other. Unless either one of them starts sassing each other I stay out of their way. Jim's mentality is equaled to Sydney, he never grew up and has a bad attitude for a 67 year old man.

The 3 1/2 hour surgery went well and I stayed overnight in the hospital. That night was spent in pain when the meds wore off at 2am, by 4am  I couldn't take it any longer and was hitting the pain button on my tv/ everything remote. When I got out of bed to pee alarms went off just as I had heard echoing throughout the 5th floor I was on. There was just no sleeping between alarms, pain, and nurses coming in every hour to take vitals. Finding a BBC station kept me busy with all sorts of programs on the up coming and past royal weddings.
Dr Li came in for her rounds about 0730; she walked with me down the long wing on my tip toes, heels, circling my arms as if I were doing the backstroke, and doing the same carpal tunnel resistant tests she had me do in her office. She said I wasn't going to need physical therapy and my hand was healing fine. She started discussing with me again what the assistant saw while helping her with surgery, he was surprised that my neck muscles had sever atrophy (wasted away). I was in so much pain and turned my whole body to see something versus turning my head and my neck muscles in the front had wasted away and there was only fat in its place. I told her that the pain that plagued my left side was gone and the nerve was no longer pinched and immediately knew it when I was coming out of anesthesia. However what I felt was a bad sore throat and my right back neck and shoulder muscles were feeling like they got run over by a Mac truck. She pulled out a picture (Shown below) that needed to be addressed, the darker areas on the ends were the screws (the c5  screw is hard to see), The cadaver bone is dark and in between c5&6 and c6&7. In the middle the screw is missing and surprised both Dr Li and the other doctor assisting her, my cervical bones were bad that when they went to put in the screw my bone was flaking apart in layers. She said she never saw that happen before and didn't say if it was a good or bad thing. But I passed college algebra and now consider myself a rocket scientist and know that it was not a good thing.The Dexa scan was correct in saying that my bones were weak.
Jim drove me home and I proceeded to make lunch, then dinner, sweep floors, make a cake, do dishes and set things out for the today's meal of fried rice. Jim just sits on the couch and watches t.v. and eats. Nothing in him changes. I went to take the garbage out and he said he'd get it, I continued to walk out the door to the garbage bin because it would have sat there for several hours. He has not helped me out at all since I have been here. Now he is pretending to be asleep pretending to be moaning, and then he will get up later to go to the bathroom and ask if he was snoring. He has major problems.
I took a bath and washed my face and hair in the sink to avoid getting my bandages wet. I changed them and there was very little seeping but my temp is at 99.6 and will take it again before going to bed to make sure that there is no infection starting. The front of my neck in general is all swollen and I feel like I have a sever strep throat because it is so hard to swallow. I am to let the doc know Monday at my follow-up if things don't get better.

Tim Curry's Antisssss a pation

Friday May 11, 2018 time: 2006

Sydney mowed part of the front and back yard today. Maybe with practice he will get better. He is still afraid to run over little stumps and once again used rebar posts to plot his mowing schematics. I give him an A for his efforts.

I got a call from the hospital today, Monday they want me to do pre-op testing again, The last ones were only good for 30 days.

Sunday May 13, 2018 time: 1926
I taught Sydney how to make Shells & Cheese with tuna fish at his request for lunch, my bottomless teenage son liked it so much that he wanted it again for dinner. I let him make it while I stood and watched, something more than a fried egg and he felt accomplished when he started eating it. Baby steps.
I had worked all weekend and slept. Needless to say I didn't get much of anything done other than making Sydney's meals, hygiene, and a few chores. It is not only graduation weekend for college students but also Mother's Day weekend, Downtown Memphis was chaotic and I was busy till I had enough of the traffic and left the area for Midtown and the upscale areas of Germantown and Collierville, no more "hood" riding for me last night. Most happy drunks were the law students who were celebrating and I got to thinking, "do all of them act this way when they get older?" because I take my fair share of lawyers to clubs, bars, and strip clubs. I picked up a "cowboy" from Electric Cowboy; a very inebriated , Hispanic, older gentleman that talked to himself most of the way to the corner he wanted dropped off at. He asked if he could shake my hand and instead he kissed the top of it and held it to his forehead in a prayer-like pose. He said I was a mamma (we never spoke due to his one-way conversation) and he was blessing me in respect and better things were coming for me. Just a little to ookie for me but I thanked him and he zig zagged across a lawn.
I will work again tonight to make sure that bills are paid in advance of surgery. Maybe by the end of next month I will hear something from Social Security. I was looking up my surgeon and I found this on her, I knew she was wonderful but am feeling blessed even more after seeing this on her.....https://www.beckersspine.com/spine/item/34912-dr-maria-li-highlighted-in-the-leading-physicians-of-the-world-5-notes.html

 Im in good hands.I have never met a doctor who had the bedside manner of a God given saint!

Hitchin' a Ride

May 10, 2018 time: 0124
Sydney cleaned 4 small bags of garbage from his room on the agreement with grandma that he get 1 garbage bag full out of his room of trash in exchange for several paint brushes and a styrofoam head. He has always needed an incentive to get what he wants and at one time I gave him weekly rewards out of a treasure box when his weekly school conduct report was good. Tonight after returning home from a visit to Cape Fair, he worked hastily at retrieving bags, luggage, and other items so that he could get his reward.
Just minutes before arriving home I noticed a silhouette in the dark, the corner of my eye caught an even darker figure. I turned on the light and Sydney hollered, "PULL OVER". I asked him for his shoe and in a split second the palm sized spider was all gutted out over the words AIRBAG. After making sure the spider was history and his skeletal remains were on the sole of Sydney's slip-on loafer, Sydney grabbed his shoe and proceeded to roll down his window and get rid of the carcus. He said loudly,"That was one big-ass spider". He quickly apologized and I didn't get after him because I was thinking the same thing.

My heart was sorrowful when I was told that Linda from church died. Such a Godly woman is now home and I'm happy for her. I am stingy and want to see people happy and healthy here on earth but us Christians are fighting a war, and though God doesn't need our help, I like to at least think we are in the dug-out rooting for the home team, The Pearly Gater's vs. The Inferno's. We know who wins this game already.
Surgery is next week and I know that I will get some relief from this pain, but I'm hoping for the moon that I can get back to what I was before all of this. It's pretty bad when the slightest movement towards the left, up, or down sends knife stabbing hot pokers through your body. I'm nervous but ready. I stopped at a Walmart to see if they had any lounging jammies (PJ's) that button up the front that was recommended by Dr Li's nurse. I found a pair marked down twice and when I got to the register it was marked down even more along with a pair of shorts. God's got my back again, even for $10.00 off of jammies.

Does Your Mother Know That You're Out?

Sunday May 6, 2018 time 1735
Sydney is trying hard to be a good son, but Jim makes it hard. He is a demanding man only because he's old and lazy for the most part. He (Jim) expects Sydney to act as all kids do and that is just not going to happen. Either way it is a good thing that Jim is here to at least spend time with Sydney because Sydney does love him and want his approval so bad. Nobody can get his approval and that is what makes him partly unbearable to be married to, that and his arrogance. Sydney did mow part of the front yard yesterday till the gas cap kept popping off. I bought a new one but now it's starting to rain. It will still be there later.
Memphis in May is a nightmare. Lots of drunk, happy people, and horrific traffic! What should have taken me 3 minutes to my destination took 35 minutes; yeah, that bad. Overall a good night and it gave me a break by staying busy till 5am. I found it hilarious when I stopped for gas and while filling up a young kid asked me if I was single, my underwear was older than him. All I could think of was the part in Mamma Mia


I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about surgery in 9 days. I understand that it is very painful and that my throat will be illy affected (is that a word?). Everything is pushed to the side so the pit crew can get in there and do maintenance. A good side affect is often weight loss-the hard way. But again, what concerns me most is the future CT scan to see if my node on my lung has grown any more. If it has, chemo is around the corner, I'm a pro at throwing up now and so that doesn't worry me much.

Fill This Out In Black Ink

Friday May 4, 2018 time: 0101
Sydney went outside for an hour today and came back in all sweaty, he took a shower and proceeded to work on his masks. I wish he would clean his room, but as his hoarding goes his therapist said he has to be the one who throws out his stuff or it will get worse. I did give him the task on working on a 2 foot section to at least get into his room. He did move things and came out with half a garbage bag full of items; perhaps tomorrow I can get him to clean another section in between his school work. His itty bitty pill, Risperdal medication does seem to help his moods lately, But today he said he hit his hand on a wall out of anger but would not elaborate on it, he said he would save it for the therapist and used my arm sling for a red knuckle. Today his backside continued to make music from yesterday's crock pot beans and sausage.

It was a bad pain day for me today. I slept 12 hours and got up in massive pain, I wore my hard neck brace till I got so hot I changed to the soft collar that made it worse.I had the shakes again (the second time this week) and will address this with my doctor. Is this due from nerve damage or pinching? Don't have a clue. It still amazed me that I am having fusion done after I was told my bones were too brittle, but after the degeneration moving up my spine I guess there was no other option. Today I felt like my head was just ready to fall off. I have applied for Social Security, I hate the fact that I have but my health has left me no alternatives at this point. Today I received a billion sheets questionnaire on my medical, past jobs, and who my first grade teacher was, I will send it back tomorrow in the postage paid mailer they sent with it shown here. Here toady, gone tomorrow.
My hand is healing nicely but I do not have full strength in it yet and was told that it may not fully recover. My thumb can't seem to get it's act together yet and I feel like a toeless monkey. My knitting sits here on the living room table as I look at it daily wondering if I should give it a go yet. Soon, but not yet. Every move I made today was at the pace of a turtle and I didn't attempt to do much more than make dinner. do dishes, fill out the forms, and lay around like a slug. Even sitting was uncomfortable and I should have used the time for prayer but Sydney kept coming in and hugging me, I knew God would understand.

Rootin' Tootin' Beans

Thursday May 3, 2018 time:0127
Sydney's day was uneventful except for another flat tire on his 10 speed. I went to Walmart and we both forgot to get him another tube for his bike. Another day. But he did manage to eat 90% of a crock pot full of black eyed peas and smoked sausage leaving me to grab a bucket of chicken on the way home since there was not enough for dinner. On another note that kids backside sang all day and night long!
It was sickening hot today 87 degrees at 5pm. I had to make a trip to Forrest City Walmart to look at their phones in their Phone department. After my 6 year old phone sat on the wireless charger all night it was only at 4% and was constantly "crapping out" or better known as turning itself off and on. It would show the phone turned off with a picture of a battery at 0-to whatever low number, but when plugged in it would turn on by itself and may show 80% battery. Essentially the non-removable battery  was playing it's own death march. I wanted the Samsung 9 but gggggeeeeeezzzzzz $900.00? I went for a $129. cheapy and will save for a better phone at a later date. Tomorrow I will activate it since it took several hours of messing with it to get everything downloaded off of Google.  Tonight the living room a/c went into the window, Sydney never let me take his out of his window and tomorrow the other will go into my bedroom to make sleeping a little more comfortable since I had a hot bath last night and had to turn the osculating fan on and finally fell asleep sweating. I hate summer and it's only the first week in May.

Mamma Mia - End Credits Dancing Queen & Waterloo

Time for some Mamma Mia !!!!! Wait for the Elvis dudes, hahahaha This movie makes me feel good.