Friday July 27, 2018 time: 1022
Sydney has been doing fine this week and going to his friends house or watching movies in his room. He continues to be an eating machine and devouring anything that remotely looks like it is edible. He has been doing some bending down for me when I change wall outlets while vacuuming. He has been taking showers on his own but I have to constantly remind him to brush those toofers of his.
Yesterday I was checking on my balance on my work debit card because I had to figure out how much more I needed to pay for my Tupperware order. Then I noticed a transaction had been mad at a "Soda Vending" for $1.50 at 9am in Michigan; WHAT???? I didn't get out of bed till 11am. It bothered me and I stopped in West Memphis to get my popcorn at Dollar General as usual. I checked on my transactions again only to find a $8.02 debit made from a McDonald's in a town in Michigan. I immediately called the card company. I was told to stop the card and another one would come in 7 business days. No way, I had to pay for my Tupperware and I put the money I made in what is called a vault/stash and locked it in there with a security question to get it out. I continued to make money throughout the night and tips allowed me to pay for gas without dipping into my stash!! I called Mrs B and made the transfer at the last possible moment, as soon as that went through I drove to the bank down the street and got most of the remaining money out and called the card company stopping the card and the remaining $2.32 would go to the new card. I have to file a dispute of charges on 3 transactions since another Soda Vender was on the 16th of this month as well. It amazes me how people get a hold of other's information. The lady said that the person could been testing the waters and then go for a BIGGER purchase to wipe out my account. I thought that was funny.
I had sent a message to Dr Li's office asking for job limitations information to give Social Security, I was told RN Kelly wasn't there any longer *sad* and I was told that I needed to come in for another CT scan. I called, after getting vacuuming, doing a load of laundry, and washing Sydney's dishes for the radiologist telling me they want me in today at 5:15pm. So much for going to work tonight, I will be just too tired.
Stat Counter
Friday, July 27, 2018
Monday, July 23, 2018
Benign Be Gone
Monday July 23, 2018 time: bed time
Sydney has done well this week and has been trying to clean his room, I'm impressed at the way he can pile things 5 foot high and have 1/2 his room looked like he cleaned it. He has done well the last few days with Harley's passing and I'm proud of my medium man, no longer my little man.
I had my follow-up appointment today with the dermatologist and said the lab showed that it was a benign growth called Humahumahuma: it started with an "H" and unless it grows back, I'm cured and it is healing nicely.
Well not only did Jim have Sydney's phone cut off but the internet as well. I sent him a text saying that he needed to go back to driving, heck he needs to go back to work the the Mafia hahahaha, "once you work for them you can't quit", well if they pay well...........
Brenda and I have our Sip & Paint tomorrow night, let the inner Picasso flow I say. I had gotten a call from Social Security and they wanted to know if I did physical therapy after surgery, the woman said she needed to know so that she can request the records. I told both before and after surgery I had therapy. It will be 4 months of waiting in a few more days, it seems like it's taking forever and maybe so if I have to fight for it through an appeal. I continue to take my stop a poop calcium citrate and wear my bone growth stimulator for four hours daily. 9 minutes to go and I'm laying down.
Before and after pictures of the growth
Sydney has done well this week and has been trying to clean his room, I'm impressed at the way he can pile things 5 foot high and have 1/2 his room looked like he cleaned it. He has done well the last few days with Harley's passing and I'm proud of my medium man, no longer my little man.
I had my follow-up appointment today with the dermatologist and said the lab showed that it was a benign growth called Humahumahuma: it started with an "H" and unless it grows back, I'm cured and it is healing nicely.
Well not only did Jim have Sydney's phone cut off but the internet as well. I sent him a text saying that he needed to go back to driving, heck he needs to go back to work the the Mafia hahahaha, "once you work for them you can't quit", well if they pay well...........
Brenda and I have our Sip & Paint tomorrow night, let the inner Picasso flow I say. I had gotten a call from Social Security and they wanted to know if I did physical therapy after surgery, the woman said she needed to know so that she can request the records. I told both before and after surgery I had therapy. It will be 4 months of waiting in a few more days, it seems like it's taking forever and maybe so if I have to fight for it through an appeal. I continue to take my stop a poop calcium citrate and wear my bone growth stimulator for four hours daily. 9 minutes to go and I'm laying down.
Monday, July 16, 2018
She Did It Her Way
Monday July 16, 2018 time: 0412
I didn't think that Harley would take such a drastic turn of health, but she did, and she did it her way. On Thursday when I took the dogs out to eat breakfast on the back porch Harley didn't want to go outside, I just attributed it to Sydney who likes to feed them in the house versus me, I sit at the patio and watch them outside. She eventually went out but turned her nose up to the food and started eating grass- nothing new. I sat at the computer and she took her regular place on my left side of the couch, but she was getting up and down pacing until she had a massive vomit of grass and water, Sydney said he would clean it up while I took her outside. There she started to eat more grass and vomited 3 more times during the day. On Friday she again rejected her food but drank water as usual. I saw her pace and then watched her drag her curled up back paw. I knew then she would not last the weekend. I stayed home and she continued to pace and throw-up. She became more relaxed and stayed at my side refusing to go outside unless either Sydney or I ushered her out. Once out Saturday she refused to come in the house, She either was on front or back porch. I told Sydney that he needed to put July 2018 on her grave marker and he could put in the date later. I went to work Saturday night and Sydney has been calling me through FB messaging face time. I asked him where Harley was and he said she was over by the old fencing that is piled up on the side of the house. Later he sent me a message that he went to check on her and she was dead. I immediately headed home after talking to him. Sydney had shown me his headstone, and we both held each other and cried. The sun was up and Sydney and I were outside digging her grave. I caught myself grunting in pain with each shovel of dirt I brought up. We each took a set of legs and laid her in her 3 foot deep grave. Sydney covered her and I went in to take a muscle relaxer pill. I took him a cold bottle of water and Sydney was drenched in sweat and dripping from his chin and nose. I hate summer, and he does too. Sydney said that he wanted to read passages from the Bible and he read Psalms 23. We cried, hugged, and he came in to take a cool shower. I don't know why Harley chose to stay outside, but she did it her way, and I respect that in humans or animals. Earlier Sydney was in his room with Rachel and Elisha in his room crying, he said he missed her already, I felt bad for him and it left me teary watching him in mourning; after all, 15 years of unconditional love, you just can't get that from any human.
I went to my pulmonology appointment and the node has not grown, Dr Issa said I was to repeat the CT in 6 months and if it is ok then repeat in 1 year after that. He said nodes need to be followed for an initial two years in case they are slow growers. For now, I'm good.
I had the growth on my jaw removed from the dermatologist and I am to go back in a week. The growth was sent off to the lab to make sure it is not cancerous. The ladicaine wore off about a half hour ago, ouch. But it burned like a fire ant going in, then he did a punch biopsy and it was over in less than a minute. It's all I could do not to laugh though, he resembled a skinny version of Mr. Magoo!
I didn't think that Harley would take such a drastic turn of health, but she did, and she did it her way. On Thursday when I took the dogs out to eat breakfast on the back porch Harley didn't want to go outside, I just attributed it to Sydney who likes to feed them in the house versus me, I sit at the patio and watch them outside. She eventually went out but turned her nose up to the food and started eating grass- nothing new. I sat at the computer and she took her regular place on my left side of the couch, but she was getting up and down pacing until she had a massive vomit of grass and water, Sydney said he would clean it up while I took her outside. There she started to eat more grass and vomited 3 more times during the day. On Friday she again rejected her food but drank water as usual. I saw her pace and then watched her drag her curled up back paw. I knew then she would not last the weekend. I stayed home and she continued to pace and throw-up. She became more relaxed and stayed at my side refusing to go outside unless either Sydney or I ushered her out. Once out Saturday she refused to come in the house, She either was on front or back porch. I told Sydney that he needed to put July 2018 on her grave marker and he could put in the date later. I went to work Saturday night and Sydney has been calling me through FB messaging face time. I asked him where Harley was and he said she was over by the old fencing that is piled up on the side of the house. Later he sent me a message that he went to check on her and she was dead. I immediately headed home after talking to him. Sydney had shown me his headstone, and we both held each other and cried. The sun was up and Sydney and I were outside digging her grave. I caught myself grunting in pain with each shovel of dirt I brought up. We each took a set of legs and laid her in her 3 foot deep grave. Sydney covered her and I went in to take a muscle relaxer pill. I took him a cold bottle of water and Sydney was drenched in sweat and dripping from his chin and nose. I hate summer, and he does too. Sydney said that he wanted to read passages from the Bible and he read Psalms 23. We cried, hugged, and he came in to take a cool shower. I don't know why Harley chose to stay outside, but she did it her way, and I respect that in humans or animals. Earlier Sydney was in his room with Rachel and Elisha in his room crying, he said he missed her already, I felt bad for him and it left me teary watching him in mourning; after all, 15 years of unconditional love, you just can't get that from any human.
I went to my pulmonology appointment and the node has not grown, Dr Issa said I was to repeat the CT in 6 months and if it is ok then repeat in 1 year after that. He said nodes need to be followed for an initial two years in case they are slow growers. For now, I'm good.
I had the growth on my jaw removed from the dermatologist and I am to go back in a week. The growth was sent off to the lab to make sure it is not cancerous. The ladicaine wore off about a half hour ago, ouch. But it burned like a fire ant going in, then he did a punch biopsy and it was over in less than a minute. It's all I could do not to laugh though, he resembled a skinny version of Mr. Magoo!
Monday, July 9, 2018
The Best Article I've Read in A Long Time
Monday July 8-9, 2018 time: stands still for no one
Sydney has been having a hard time with his English class he has for the summer. He just can't seem to engage himself as much as he tries and is defeated, he has a why bother attitude towards it.
As he was sitting down the other day to brush Harley he noticed that her tumor on her front leg is now as big as his hand, something that I had notice just a few days prior, it won't be long till her cancer ridden body takes our beloved 15+ year old Border Collie. He is approaching it in a way that he can handle it by making her a headstone for the day that it comes time to bury her. He made her a head"stone"; using the Dremel and plywood he carved and sanded her name. Though I cannot remember Harley's exact birth date, Sydney was a baby when I was on the "hill" in Kenucky when Sookie (my aunt and friend) had given her to me at the tender fur ball palm size age of 4 weeks. It somehow seems like a lifetime ago now, he hangs his head in deep sadness when he talks about her end drawing near.
https://www.healthyway.com/content/signs-of-narcissism-in-partner/?rtg=3166-kkC8j1¶m4=hwywp-fni-fbss-3166-demo
I still continue to find Jim's (James Clegg) face on date sites on the internet, he said that he was doing it at night. Tomorrow I take Sydney for his encounter with Jim. It is important and part of my therapeutic input on him telling Jim what he feels and how it has upset him. Thursday is his appointment with Artis and along with me we can both combat his depression in a firm but loving hand. Artis and his case worker both have told me that I am doing a good job in handling his Asperger's Syndrome and his depression. When he gets out of line in being disrespectful I get on him and they both have said that I handle him very well. It makes me happy to hear that coming from other therapists and case workers, glad some of my psychology classes have paid off.
The link I placed above is about Narcissistic People. I got so much out of this 5 minute read. What I thought was interesting is that it is not curable and that I have continued to maintain my boundaries throughout our turbulent marriage.
Friday I go in for my lung CT, I have been for the second time smoke free for 4 months. My bones won't heal, so now it's time to see if the node has grown or remains the same, I'll find out next week at my follow-up appointment with Dr Issa my pulmonologist.
I worked enough to purchase and replace the two front tires on the car, the payment will be late because of it but I would not be able to make money to pay for the expired tags and taxes on the truck. Money makes the world go round and I'm still waiting on a ruling from Social Security. If approved I won't have to work, which is a good thing. When I get home I am in soooooo much pain that I just take meds and sleep all afternoon, it never ends, the pain never ends and I think I hide it well to the outside world. Sydney has even started helping get things off the floor/ground because bending over creates so much pain, it's hard to describe how such a simple thing can be so debilitating. I have been getting the BC/BS statement in that have been paid and so far surgery has been about 40k plus the bone growth stimulator was 4995.00. I had to call BC/BS because they wanted to know if it was an accident that I had to have surgery because they would go after the other party for all these bills that they have paid out. I just told the woman I have crappy bones.
Sydney has been having a hard time with his English class he has for the summer. He just can't seem to engage himself as much as he tries and is defeated, he has a why bother attitude towards it.
As he was sitting down the other day to brush Harley he noticed that her tumor on her front leg is now as big as his hand, something that I had notice just a few days prior, it won't be long till her cancer ridden body takes our beloved 15+ year old Border Collie. He is approaching it in a way that he can handle it by making her a headstone for the day that it comes time to bury her. He made her a head"stone"; using the Dremel and plywood he carved and sanded her name. Though I cannot remember Harley's exact birth date, Sydney was a baby when I was on the "hill" in Kenucky when Sookie (my aunt and friend) had given her to me at the tender fur ball palm size age of 4 weeks. It somehow seems like a lifetime ago now, he hangs his head in deep sadness when he talks about her end drawing near.
I still continue to find Jim's (James Clegg) face on date sites on the internet, he said that he was doing it at night. Tomorrow I take Sydney for his encounter with Jim. It is important and part of my therapeutic input on him telling Jim what he feels and how it has upset him. Thursday is his appointment with Artis and along with me we can both combat his depression in a firm but loving hand. Artis and his case worker both have told me that I am doing a good job in handling his Asperger's Syndrome and his depression. When he gets out of line in being disrespectful I get on him and they both have said that I handle him very well. It makes me happy to hear that coming from other therapists and case workers, glad some of my psychology classes have paid off.
The link I placed above is about Narcissistic People. I got so much out of this 5 minute read. What I thought was interesting is that it is not curable and that I have continued to maintain my boundaries throughout our turbulent marriage.
Friday I go in for my lung CT, I have been for the second time smoke free for 4 months. My bones won't heal, so now it's time to see if the node has grown or remains the same, I'll find out next week at my follow-up appointment with Dr Issa my pulmonologist.
I worked enough to purchase and replace the two front tires on the car, the payment will be late because of it but I would not be able to make money to pay for the expired tags and taxes on the truck. Money makes the world go round and I'm still waiting on a ruling from Social Security. If approved I won't have to work, which is a good thing. When I get home I am in soooooo much pain that I just take meds and sleep all afternoon, it never ends, the pain never ends and I think I hide it well to the outside world. Sydney has even started helping get things off the floor/ground because bending over creates so much pain, it's hard to describe how such a simple thing can be so debilitating. I have been getting the BC/BS statement in that have been paid and so far surgery has been about 40k plus the bone growth stimulator was 4995.00. I had to call BC/BS because they wanted to know if it was an accident that I had to have surgery because they would go after the other party for all these bills that they have paid out. I just told the woman I have crappy bones.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
Thursday, July 5, 2018
James Clegg, He's in Denial
July 5, 2018 time: I don't care, today it's just dragging
Sydney went and spent a few hours at his friends and came home. I had mad him a pork riblett family dinner, thinly sliced onion, and put it on a wheat bun. He devoured two right away while I ate one sole piece of meat alone. I reminded Sydney that he was staying the weekend at James Clegg, his father's place. As I was telling him what to pack for the weekend, Sydney hung his head and said he didn't want to go because,"he denied me". All I could instantly think of was denying three times before the crow does. I said that he would have to call his dad and tell him himself, he went out on the back porch as I suggested so that they can have a private conversation, and pray that his Asperger's didn't leave me to pick up the pieces after the call. He reappeared at the back door and said there is a recording. His phone has been shut off, I saw the overdue flash on the screen about a week ago and just thought that Jim (James Clegg) would pay his usual $20+ . Apparently not. So I get on the phone and the recording calls Cellular after the recording. They would not talk to me so I hung on the line while they tried to call, he didn't answer the phone. So I sent him this message:
Sydney went and spent a few hours at his friends and came home. I had mad him a pork riblett family dinner, thinly sliced onion, and put it on a wheat bun. He devoured two right away while I ate one sole piece of meat alone. I reminded Sydney that he was staying the weekend at James Clegg, his father's place. As I was telling him what to pack for the weekend, Sydney hung his head and said he didn't want to go because,"he denied me". All I could instantly think of was denying three times before the crow does. I said that he would have to call his dad and tell him himself, he went out on the back porch as I suggested so that they can have a private conversation, and pray that his Asperger's didn't leave me to pick up the pieces after the call. He reappeared at the back door and said there is a recording. His phone has been shut off, I saw the overdue flash on the screen about a week ago and just thought that Jim (James Clegg) would pay his usual $20+ . Apparently not. So I get on the phone and the recording calls Cellular after the recording. They would not talk to me so I hung on the line while they tried to call, he didn't answer the phone. So I sent him this message:
Sydney said he tried calling you and his phone is off. Rep had me on line while she tried calling.
Sydney does not want to see you because you have denied that he is your son by saying you had no children under 18. He said he loves you but ,"you have done something to him so terrible that can't be forgiven".
All I got was that it was delivered. He did not reply back.
He would talk bad about me and that is fine, I have done no wrong. He talked bad to just about every family member he has/had. Judy and Ray took him in, but he would complain to me about when he could do his laundry and every meal had hamburger meat, or piss and moan about fleas on his legs.He had clean clothes and a meal and bitches. The most ungrateful person ever. When his father died he said he didn't get his tools or his sawed -off shot gun in his closet. Then he pissed about Pat getting all the family photos, he is so material.I had listened to that at least once a month for the last 10+ years. Is it too late to tell James Clegg age 68 (Next week) to grow -up and get some cahonies? I was looking at a picture of him and he had to put a pair of boots on with 2"heels, he had to measure up to his sisters. When Jason came to Billings when we lived there, he brought his girlfriend (Jennifer I think was her name?) She was a delightful person but Jim went into a frenzy fit because she was black. I told him that Jesus was a Middle Easterner and not necessarily a white dude either and to get over it because that was not his decision but Jason's. James Clegg is Archie Bunker reincarnated. Only this time he is MEAT HEAD too!! So stifle it.
Boots here
Boots hereWednesday, July 4, 2018
The Lawyer Visit Creates Fire Works
Wednesday July 4, 2018 time 1627
Sydney has spent a good deal of the day at his friends house. This morning when I got home he weed-eated a little bit of the back yard at 0700 I put on my harness and went to bed while I was woken to him taking my yoke off and saying he was going to his friends and that the weed eater ran out of line.
Yesterday I met with the lawyer, Joe Perry. I like him. He was a casual good ole' boy showing up in his faded worn jeans and a plaid shirt nobody would ever peg him for a lawyer in his more than casual attire. He took me to a meeting room because his office was in complete utter mayhem. I showed him just a few sites that Jim (James Clegg, Jim Clegg, Jimmy Clegg @JimClegg61, Littlemanjim50, Jim_Clegg, JamesClegg50 , etc...) was on, he was reading in complete amazement when I finally reached to retreive my phone back while he read and scolled through the sites. He said he wanted $500 down and total costs would be around 1K. Expensive indeed. What he told me is that even though Sydney gets part of his disability he should also be getting child support in order just in case his employment changes. I told him he would work under the table and he shook his head and said most people do to avoid paying out. He asked if Jim saw Sydney and I said,"he only comes by when he wants something like his laundry done". He said that he should see him at least a weekend a month. So this weekend Sydney is going to spend the weekend with him. As much as I hate it, I could also use a break, but not that bad to have Jim yelling at him all weekend, I'll see how it goes and will I have to pick up the pieces?
James Clegg, Jimmy Clegg, Jim Clegg, jamescl57268461 littlemanjim50 jamesclegg61 jimclegg61 jamesclegg50 jimclegg50 with son and wife Sandy Curry 2009, Missouri
Sydney has spent a good deal of the day at his friends house. This morning when I got home he weed-eated a little bit of the back yard at 0700 I put on my harness and went to bed while I was woken to him taking my yoke off and saying he was going to his friends and that the weed eater ran out of line.
Yesterday I met with the lawyer, Joe Perry. I like him. He was a casual good ole' boy showing up in his faded worn jeans and a plaid shirt nobody would ever peg him for a lawyer in his more than casual attire. He took me to a meeting room because his office was in complete utter mayhem. I showed him just a few sites that Jim (James Clegg, Jim Clegg, Jimmy Clegg @JimClegg61, Littlemanjim50, Jim_Clegg, JamesClegg50 , etc...) was on, he was reading in complete amazement when I finally reached to retreive my phone back while he read and scolled through the sites. He said he wanted $500 down and total costs would be around 1K. Expensive indeed. What he told me is that even though Sydney gets part of his disability he should also be getting child support in order just in case his employment changes. I told him he would work under the table and he shook his head and said most people do to avoid paying out. He asked if Jim saw Sydney and I said,"he only comes by when he wants something like his laundry done". He said that he should see him at least a weekend a month. So this weekend Sydney is going to spend the weekend with him. As much as I hate it, I could also use a break, but not that bad to have Jim yelling at him all weekend, I'll see how it goes and will I have to pick up the pieces?
jamescl57268461
James Clegg, Jimmy Clegg, Jim Clegg, jamescl57268461 littlemanjim50 jamesclegg61 jimclegg61 jamesclegg50 jimclegg50 with son and wife Sandy Curry 2009, Missouri
James Clegg, Jimmy Clegg, Jim Clegg with wife Sandy Curry 2008, Marianna, AR
Monday, July 2, 2018
Yes, Her Screws Are Loose
Monday July 2, 2018 time 2017
Sydney has been self absorbed into the tablet and not his mask making lately. I do think that the heat is getting to him. And today when I came home I was not happy that I had to unload the car, my ice coffee fell on the floor, dishes Sydney piled up in the sink, little ones (Poms) running around while he has a note hanging from the ceiling fan cords "Went for Walk". Rules of the house: put the little ones up in their kennel when you leave. Chances are that it is Elisha who will pee at the back door because she has separation anxiety like Sydney, but he at least runs to the bathroom.
I had to apologize to Sydney because I was in a grumpy mood when I got home. I was tired, hot, and in pain, and it makes for me to be in a prissy mood.
I left at 0530 to make sure I got to Jonesboro early for my 0800 appointment. I stopped at McDonald's in Wynne to get a breakfast burrito and iced coffee. A woman payed it back and I did the same to the person behind me. I got to the hospital with 30 minutes to spare and checked in only to be sent upstairs to the 5th floor to xray my neck. At 0820 I was in my room and waiting on Dr Li who showed up about 0830. I told her about the neck pain and while the program was booting up she ran to her office to get the inflammation diet sheet. Clearly it wasn't from her hand of typing(?) because I found a typo of yours spelled YEARS. Clearly somebody with a heavy accent either using a speak n spell like me and the computer didn't know how to spell the correct word. She checked my reflexes, hand strength, and looked at the xrays. She showed me the areas that she was concerned about and said that I am not fusing at all. She just told me to continue taking my Calcium Citrate and Vitamin D and she wanted to see me back in for 6 months visit, I am scheduled for December 18th. I think that she just wants to see that I am a slow healer and will take action later if still having a problem. I did forget to ask her about the bone growth stimulator, I'll call tomorrow and ask Kelly her nurse if I should continue to use it or box it back up for the closet.
I stopped at the Tasty Cake bakery outlet and bought $20.00 worth of stuff, stopped and got my hair cut short, then I stopped at Food Giant for a special 4th of July meat sale. #10 of frozen racks of beef ribs for $13.00, #10 bag of chicken quarters for $3.90, and a bag of Tyson battered breast nuggets for $2.99, and lettuce for .69 cents, and a gallon tub of Sydney's vanilla ice cream for $5.99. Wore out and also called the lawyer and will see him in the morning at 10- not soon enough and ready to leave Jim's #James Clegg begging lazy butt behind. Sydney is still upset at him.
